


two blue hearts locked in our wrong minds

by aarobron



Series: i just wanted to hold you in my arms [3]
Category: Emmerdale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-06
Updated: 2017-11-06
Packaged: 2019-01-30 10:43:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12652011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aarobron/pseuds/aarobron
Summary: aaron and robert decide to make a go of it, despite connor hanging over their heads.or,"How've you been?" He says instead, taking in the younger man's face. He looks exhausted, dark smudges under his eyes and his beard growing longer like a shadow under his cheekbones. He wants to know - wants to know everything.Aaron shrugs one shoulder - he looks exactly like Robert's feeling. "Here and there," He mutters, taking a sip of his coffee. "Connor won't stop calling, but that's to be expected when you end a year-long relationship with out a decent explanation," His tone is self-deprecating, and Robert hates it, hates that it was him, hates that he had to be the one to ruin it all. But it's like Aaron can read his mind because he covers the older man's hand with his own and leans forward, whispering, "It's not your fault."





	two blue hearts locked in our wrong minds

**Author's Note:**

> hello! welcome to part 3 of this verse. set in between parts 1 and 2 because apparently i make everything difficult.
> 
> i'm posting today because it marks my one year anniversary of posting fic on here. so, thank you for having me, and thank you for reading all of my little ramblings for an entire 365 days! all your kudos and comments mean so much to me - more than you'll ever know.
> 
> title from [wild by troye sivane ft alessia cara](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8G4oaOxyxk)
> 
> happy reading x

When Robert steps into the coffee shop, the first thing he sees is Aaron. It's like the rest of the world drops away, nothing but cardboard cut outs and useless props. All the light turns to him, too; surrounds him and highlights him. He's the only thing that Robert sees.

The only thing that Robert cares about.

He approaches the table with a cautious smile. "Hey," He murmurs, nervous. He doesn't know why he's nervous - Aaron is the only person who knows him inside, and out. Aaron knows all his deepest darkest secrets now.

And it's not like it's the first time they've seen each other, since, well, _that_ day. There's been texts and awkward drinks and embarrassed smiles, there's been pain and hope and glimpses at the future. But this feels different - breakable. "Hey," Aaron replies, lips quirking up into a grin. "Got you an americano."

He gestures at the mug on the table and yeah, that's enough for Robert to relax, so he breathes out through his nose and sits down. "Thanks," He says, gratefully taking a sip. Aaron's watching him curiously, like it wasn't him that called for the meeting. "Why exactly am I here?" 

"Wanted to talk," The younger man shrugs, hand wrapped around his own mug. "And we can't exactly talk at yours, can we?" He looks a little sad at the mention of it, like he's remembering Connor, so Robert nudges Aaron's knuckles with his own and smiles at him.

"How've you been?" He says instead, taking in the younger man's face. He looks exhausted, dark smudges under his eyes and his beard growing longer like a shadow under his cheekbones. He wants to know - wants to know everything.

Aaron shrugs one shoulder - he looks exactly like Robert's feeling. "Here and there," He mutters, taking a sip of his coffee. "Connor won't stop calling, but that's to be expected when you end a year-long relationship with out a decent explanation," His tone is self-deprecating, and Robert hates it, hates that it was him, hates that he had to be the one to ruin it all. But it's like Aaron can read his mind because he covers the older man's hand with his own and leans forward, whispering, "It's not your fault."

"You were never supposed to find out," Robert says, turning his head. He feels embarrassed suddenly, cheeks flushing red hot. This feels like a conversation they shouldn't have in public.

"I'm glad I did, Rob," Aaron sighs. He leans back, pulls his hand away from Robert's, but keeps gazing at him. "I told you how I felt - how I've _always_ felt. I couldn't keep distracting myself forever, and now I know that you feel the same, well..." 

Robert blinks, sits up straighter. "Well what?" 

"I want to be with you," Aaron admits, all in one breath, like he's scared to. "I love you and I want to be with you, and I know it's too soon, but I _do_." He looks definite, hard, like there's no backing down.

And Robert forgets how to breathe. 

They're words he's wanted to hear for so long (almost two years, his brain supplies), but he never expected them in a situation like this. "It is too soon," He nods, watching Aaron's teeth dig into his lower lip. A nervous habit. Robert hates that he knows that. "And I want to be with you, but I can't- Connor's my best friend, Aaron. You've only been split up two weeks." 

"I know that!" Aaron snaps, draining the last of his coffee, then taking a calming breath. "I know that, but I've waited for you for _so long_. And I don't want to wait anymore." He's almost begging - Robert remembers the time Aaron had said, _I don't beg_ , when he'd needed help with something at the scrapyard - and his eyes are wet.

"Can I think about it?" Robert breathes. He doesn't want to think about it because the answer is yes, _always_ yes, but he needs to think about Connor. He's putting himself first, but he can't be selfish. The contradiction makes his head hurt.

"'Course you can," Aaron says, a tiny sad smile on his face. He drains the last of his coffee and digs around his backpack for a minute, hand curled loosely around something. "I'll never force you into anything."

And then he stands, drops whatever he's holding into Robert's open palm, and kisses his forehead, warmth and fondness settling into his skin. "See you later?" Aaron asks hopefully, and when Robert nods he grins and walks confidently out the door, not looking over his shoulder once. 

The coffee shop fades back into view, the hustle and bustle of people and hiss of machines, but it's dull without Aaron here. Still, at least Robert finally notices it. He uncurls his fingers and peers down- his breath catches in his throat.

In the centre of his palm, sits a tiny powder blue star. The folds are perfect, edges sharp and even, but Robert can't ever imagine him doing this. He must have practised for hours - days, even. A smiley face is scribbled onto the front of the star, lopsided and endearing as hell, and when he flips it over, it says 'open me!' in tiny letters. It's clearly Aaron's attempt at cursive, as chicken scratchy as it is.

He feels like this mum's club coffee shop in the centre of Leeds isn't the best place to open it, but his heart is hammering against his chest and he can't stop himself. His hands are shaking as he unfolds the star, and he doesn't realise he's holding his breath until he reads the words and lets it out slowly.

**maybe he feels the same.**

Maybe, Robert lets himself believe, that he does.

.

He waits for a while. Twelve hours, twenty four, until his fingers are itching and his heart is burning. He tries to busy himself by making a cup of tea, but lets it go cold on the kitchen table. He tries to watch telly, but Jeremy Kyle makes him feel like his ears are bleeding. 

So there's one thing left to do.

He breathes out shakily as his thumb hovers over the first name in his contacts. _Aaron_. God, even those tiny letters on his tiny screen have his pulse doubling, fluttering wildly under his skin like it's got a life of its own. He forces himself to click the button, brings the phone up to his ear and tries not to count the rings. 

It gets to four, and then Aaron answers the phone with a breathless, "Hey." He sounds like he's been rushing - maybe rushing to pick up the phone, but Robert puts that thought straight out his head.

"D'you..." Robert starts, but then stops. Aaron's waiting, silent, patient, for him to continue, and he's never been more grateful to not be pushed. "Can we meet?" 

"I'd like that," Aaron laughs, a quiet but overwhelmingly happy sound. "Why don't you come round here?"

And just like that, Robert feels lighter than he has in days.

.

He edges over the speed limit the entire way to Emmerdale. The thought of going back there, it doesn't fill him with dread like it used to. A couple of years ago - before he met Aaron - even the thought of it would make him feel sick, but now, he knows what's there. He knows what's waiting for him.

He doesn't even think twice before he pushes the door to the pub open. 

Aaron's sitting at the bar, two pints in front of him as he has a heated conversation with his mum. Judging by the look on Chas' face, she knows, and the topic is revolving around him, but Aaron spots him immediately and flashes him a brilliant smile as he nods towards one of the more private booths. 

"Hiya," He says quietly, setting Robert's pint down in front of him as he eases onto the bench. His fingers rest on the tabletop, twitching like he's trying not to reach out, but he seems to ignore it. "Didn't know if you'd call."

"I'd always call," Robert says. His voice is sincere, honest, and suddenly the mood turns serious. "I'd always call you, anyway."

"Feelings mutual," Aaron says, lips twitching into a smirk. He reaches across the table and covers Robert's hand with his own, like it's normal, like it's something they've been doing their entire lives. Robert wishes it was. 

He doesn't pull back when Robert blinks at their hands, when Robert blinks at him. Not even when Robert smiles. "What did you wanna talk about?" He asks instead, fingers burning into Robert's skin.

"Iwanttobewithyou," Robert blurts, all one breath, and then repeats it slower when Aaron frowns. "I- I don't want to waste any more time."

Aaron's fingers slide to Robert's wrist and turn his hand over, palm up on the table. He traces over the lines, a feather-light touch that makes the older man shiver, and then he glances up, smile blinding and eyes bright. "Feels like I've been waiting to hear you say that my whole life," He admits, then tangles their fingers together. 

His palm is hot and heavy against Robert's - solid, _real_. He lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "Where do we go from here?"

"Well," Aaron says, smile not fading one bit. "I say we take these into the back room, and just... spend time together."

"Yeah, sounds good," Robert says on an embarrassed laugh. He copies Aaron and picks up his pint, follows the younger man as he snakes behind the bar, and purposely doesn't look at Chas as she hisses _whatareyoudoing_ at Aaron who ignores her. 

He takes a seat on the sofa next to Aaron, heart thudding against his ribcage as he feels him shift closer. "I'm sorry this all happened, you know," He blurts before he can stop himself.

"I'm not," Aaron says, firm and determined. There's a steely glint in his eyes, hands curled into fists as he stares Robert down. "The only thing I'm sorry about is that you didn't tell me sooner."

"Didn't know what to say," Robert admits. He drops his gaze and studies the pictures of Aaron along the walls. Some of him when he was tiny, round faced and cheeky eyed, some when he's a bit older, gelled hair and a downturned mouth. He lets his eyes travel back to the man in front of him, in the present. "You were always too good for me."

Aaron's eyelashes dip, like Robert's words have hurt him, but he keeps his gaze trained on the older man. "I don't care what you think of yourself, but _I_ love you," He says. His voice his hard but his face is soft and open.

"I love you too," Robert says, but the words waver. He's not ashamed, just vulnerable - his entire body is trembling, even though there's no chance Aaron will turn him down now.

"That's good," Aaron whispers. He shifts even closer, tilts his head until their noses brush and their breaths mix. "Was kind of counting on that."

Then he sweeps forward and kisses Robert, open mouthed and warm. His teeth are digging into the older man's lower lip and his hand is curling into Robert's jacket, until Robert finally, _finally_ registers and kisses back twice as hard. 

"Took your time," Aaron says as he pulls back. He sounds amused, eyes sparkling and lips swollen and red. He looks like everything Robert's ever wanted - everything Robert's ever hoped for.

"I'm here now," Robert promises, and shifts forward to kiss Aaron again.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr @ [aarobron](http://aarobron.tumblr.com/) xo


End file.
